Where am I coming from?

Who was I?
I have always been "older than my age". I started hanging around high school kids early in middle school. Ive kept most of my friend within that same age frame difference since then. I started smoking and drinking at a very young age. I do not think my "older" friends influenced me in those choices at all; I would have done it regardless. They are actually probably the reason I stayed safe through it all. Ive had friends from all walks of life. Rich and poor, smart and.... not so much. Every color of the rainbow every gender and orientation and religion. They listen to every kind of music and like every kind of book and movie out there. And I love that. I got into serious relationships at young ages. I got too committed. I got married. I bought a house. I wasnt ready. We split up. I got in more relationships. Many I ended. I never have been ready for relationships. Some were ended by the other person. Heartbreak is easier for me to have than to cause.
I find myself doing what pleases other people, not what pleases me. I change myself to suit them. I cant make decisions by myself. I struggle with love and commitment. With who I really am inside as opposed to who I am outside, and how much of that is influenced by others.
I struggle with a neurological disorder causing problems with attention span, memory, sensory issues, Auditory Processing Disorder, physical and vocal tics, and anxiety. Ive been medicated for it in the past.
I was raised Catholic. I was adopted at birth and have both my adoptive and biological families in my life. My adoptive mom passed away when I was 16, and I miss her terribly. My biological mom is great. My Dad is the most important person in the world to me.
I sucked in school and went to an alternative high school. Ive tried college multiple times to no avail.
I was very involved with theatre and music while in school.
I always felt very accomplished when I was younger. Now I feel pathetic next to my peers. Like I missed the time frame in my life where I was supposed to have accomplished things.
Ive always been weird. Kids would turn away from me (and occasionally run from me) in the hall. I dressed weird, acted weird, and just WAS weird.
I spent 7 years as a vegetarian.
People have always depended on me. Even my older friends have commonly come to me for advice or input. And im always there.
I dont believe in regret. Life is to short to sit around pitying yourself for the choices you made. Every situation has a lesson in it and gives you a chance to choose differently next time!