Its not a fun party

I wish I was an artist so I could express my own emotions rather than having to search through google images -_-

I leave for Austin the day after tomorrow. Im so ready for this break! This week has been an emotional struggle for me and I cant wait to walk off that plane and give my CS the longest hug of her life! Im nowhere near ready to go yet, physically. I have things to buy and havent even started packing, really. But with all of the stuff going on recently ive stopped worrying about the emotional politics of my visit, which is quite a relief. Although I must say if I didnt have to deal with some of the crap here I would gladly give that up as well.

I really am a prodominantly happy person! Why waste your time crying when you could be laughing!? I try to make the best out of any situation. But when my heart is involved... its a lost cause. And that, by itself, is incredibly frusturating to me. So on top of being heartbroken I end up annoyed with my own emotions. And it turns into an awful little self-fueling pity party. Im not a fan of those parties. They are no fun for me or anyone around me. I snap out of my typical funks super quick. But these ones... not so much. Im really hoping the escape to Texas will not only make me forget for a week, but that the high will continue when I come back. It will help that by the time I get back to the Burg 89 will be gone. And I will have birthday celebrations and Pride and BBQ's and starting school.... all sorts of fun things to look forward to. So, fingers crossed I guess.