Its been a while. Almost a month. I cant even begin to explain all the things that have happened in that time. But im going to try.
On July 29th I received an email reply to a craigslist add I had posted looking to meet people. Her name was Michelle, and we exchanged more than 30 emails the next day. Things were quiet for a few days, and then I text her. We were soon averaging at least 500 sent/received text each day to each other. We started to learn about each other. She was very adamant that she is strictly monogamous. I was set in my polyamory. We were both willing to put those things aside to get to know each other. She had been in a 10 year relationship and had two kids from that. She was cautious about dating but said that the things she was doing werent working out for her, and that caused her to stray from her normal way of doing things and email me. I told her many of my own stories and was 100% honest, as always. We soon began making plans for me to visit. We were both a bit apprehensive in this very new situation, but wanted to try it. We went in with mutual understanding and no expectations at all.
On August 11th my Dad and BK dropped me off at Michelles house in Prosser. Her two children were waiting outside for me to arrive. I grabbed my bag, waved goodbye to my dad, and went inside. I akwardly hugged Michelle. We'd talked about the initial meeting probably feeling weird, but that we were sure we would get over it quickly. And we did. In no time at all we were talking and laughing. I was cleaning the kitchen after she cooked dinner with one kid riding piggy-back the whole time. We slept at night with my arms wrapped around her. We were constantly touching in some subtle way all day and night. I stayed for three nights that first visit. On August 14th, as we drove to meet my friend on the last day, she held my hand in the car. My heart fluttered the whole way.
We missed each other instantly. The text messages flew. We both felt more strongly than we had ever imagined we would. I already wanted to be back with her. We spent all week anxious for me to come back. On August 17th Michelle and I were talking through text. She asked me what I wanted. I told her that I would be intetested in a relationship with her. Then she asked if I wanted her to be my girlfriend. I said yes.
On August 19th Michelle and the kids drove to Ellensburg and picked me up. All the way to Prosser we either held hands, or her hand was on my leg, or my arm around her shoulder. We touched in some way the whole trip. Once back at her house things picked up where the left off, but even better. We were affectionate now even when the kids were around. It was the last weekend before school started so we wanted to enjoy it to the fullest. We played in the pool, watched movies, and went to Chuck E Cheeses.
On August 21st I got online and went to the school district website where Michelle works. There was an employment listing for a Paraprofessional with ASL skills. My heart skipped a beat. For this listing to even exist was huge; the town is small. I excitedly showed Michelle the listing. We became caught in a whirlwind of excitement and fear. She started calling around and asking about the position, I started editing my resume. We talked about what it would mean for me to get the job, that I would move to Prosser.... I was so nervous I called a dear friend that has always been a second Mom to me. I tried my best to explain the situation. That Michelle and I hardly knew each other but things had never felt so right. After a long conversation, my friend told me to go for it.
On July 29th I received an email reply to a craigslist add I had posted looking to meet people. Her name was Michelle, and we exchanged more than 30 emails the next day. Things were quiet for a few days, and then I text her. We were soon averaging at least 500 sent/received text each day to each other. We started to learn about each other. She was very adamant that she is strictly monogamous. I was set in my polyamory. We were both willing to put those things aside to get to know each other. She had been in a 10 year relationship and had two kids from that. She was cautious about dating but said that the things she was doing werent working out for her, and that caused her to stray from her normal way of doing things and email me. I told her many of my own stories and was 100% honest, as always. We soon began making plans for me to visit. We were both a bit apprehensive in this very new situation, but wanted to try it. We went in with mutual understanding and no expectations at all.
On August 11th my Dad and BK dropped me off at Michelles house in Prosser. Her two children were waiting outside for me to arrive. I grabbed my bag, waved goodbye to my dad, and went inside. I akwardly hugged Michelle. We'd talked about the initial meeting probably feeling weird, but that we were sure we would get over it quickly. And we did. In no time at all we were talking and laughing. I was cleaning the kitchen after she cooked dinner with one kid riding piggy-back the whole time. We slept at night with my arms wrapped around her. We were constantly touching in some subtle way all day and night. I stayed for three nights that first visit. On August 14th, as we drove to meet my friend on the last day, she held my hand in the car. My heart fluttered the whole way.
We missed each other instantly. The text messages flew. We both felt more strongly than we had ever imagined we would. I already wanted to be back with her. We spent all week anxious for me to come back. On August 17th Michelle and I were talking through text. She asked me what I wanted. I told her that I would be intetested in a relationship with her. Then she asked if I wanted her to be my girlfriend. I said yes.
On August 19th Michelle and the kids drove to Ellensburg and picked me up. All the way to Prosser we either held hands, or her hand was on my leg, or my arm around her shoulder. We touched in some way the whole trip. Once back at her house things picked up where the left off, but even better. We were affectionate now even when the kids were around. It was the last weekend before school started so we wanted to enjoy it to the fullest. We played in the pool, watched movies, and went to Chuck E Cheeses.
On August 21st I got online and went to the school district website where Michelle works. There was an employment listing for a Paraprofessional with ASL skills. My heart skipped a beat. For this listing to even exist was huge; the town is small. I excitedly showed Michelle the listing. We became caught in a whirlwind of excitement and fear. She started calling around and asking about the position, I started editing my resume. We talked about what it would mean for me to get the job, that I would move to Prosser.... I was so nervous I called a dear friend that has always been a second Mom to me. I tried my best to explain the situation. That Michelle and I hardly knew each other but things had never felt so right. After a long conversation, my friend told me to go for it.
The next day we found out that the position had been filled. My heart sank. The euphoric cloud we had been riding on dissolved before our eyes. Then we had to decide what to do. Was the idea of me moving in based purely on the job listing? That is what brought the subject up, but I refused to let it be what diminished the thought as well. We had been given a sign. We decided that we both wanted me to be there, not to leave. That I would figure out the job situation, and move to Prosser. Move in with Michelle. Fear controlled my body at this point.
In August 25th I made a very hard phone call. I had to end my relationship with Lynn. Part of moving in with Michelle would mean monogamy. The thought was terrifying. I had only recently found polyamory and never thought I could live any other way. But there was no doubt in my mind of my heart that what I felt with Michelle was right. Hurting Lynn hurt me very much, because I DO care about her. She was wonderful about it, of course. She is a truly good person, and I hope that the world treats her accordingly.
On August 27th Mary (my mom) came to Prosser to pick me up. I had spent 11 out of the past 16 nights with Michelle. It felt like it had been years. I couldnt stay gone long, though, and returned to Prosser five days later and im still here. Applying for jobs and trying to get things in order for that.
Leaving Ellensburg will be hard in some ways. I wont be able to continue with derby for a while (though I will still be skating as much as possible.) I wont be able to continue with CHCI. I will be living in a town where I dont know anyone and my friends will be far away. But I plan to spend a weekend or two a month in Eburg. To go to Yakima and the Tri-Cities often. To be social and happy. All the fear has now subsided. There is nothing I want more than this. I grew up wanting a house and family. I thought I found it at a young age, but I was too young and jumped in too quick and it went to shit. This happened a few times. Finally, I stopped looking. I had resigned myself to having kids by myself and always having multiple relationships. And then this all just fell into my lap. I went into a situation with no expectations and I found everything I ever wanted.
Michelle makes me laugh. We never stop laughing. We never stop touching (speaking of which- the sex is AMAZING. Seriously. Best sex ive ever had.) Everything about this feels so right. When she goes to work I love staying home to clean and do laundry. When the kids crawl into bed sick in the middle of the night there is still nowhere i'd rather be. Shes willing to move when its time for me to go to school. She knows about my plans for children and wants to be a part of it. She wants to travel with me. Every moment of every day feels like a gift when we are together. She does things like buying me a souvenir cup when we went to Chuck E Cheese because she knew I would enjoy it. She celebrates my childish habits rather than berating me for them. She encourages me to do things I love rather than making me choose between her and those things. She is absolutely wonderful. This is everything I have ever wanted and more, and I cant wait for the future.
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